I had a really weird day yesterday. One of those days that you have all planned out and you are really looking forward to, until a weird wrench gets thrown in your plans and all of the sudden you are stuck in your head running circles thinking about something you had no intention of spending one second thinking about it. The day ended up great, spent with my family in the sun doing things we love, but none the less, all the unplanned thoughts lead me to think about this…
Since I was 14 I wanted this particular tattoo, I even sat down with my mom and explained my whole theory behind the tattoo…. she said “hell no” and made me wait. When I turned 16 I went ahead and got the ink because the theory behind the tattoo still felt important enough for me to permanently add it to my body. The artwork of the tattoo has changed 2 times over the years but the thought behind it still remains the same. Let me preface the meaning of this tattoo by saying, it may not be the right way of thinking but it’s my way of thinking.
The tattoo is a barbed wire heart with flames. The idea being that it takes alot to be close to me but when you’re in, you’re in. And by the same token, It takes something significant to be on the outs with me. It’s just my way of protecting my heart, it’s guarded by a sort of barbed wire, where I keep my closest circle of family and friends.
I know that I don’t handle every situation the way most would, but when it comes to my heart and my family, I am ultra protective.
The one good thing about this characteristic, which most would refer to as “bitchy” is that people always know where they stand with me. No false pretenses, you are either in, or out. It’s only getting more and more clear cut as I get older, I don’t want to spend a moment of my time in fake company or with people I don’t enjoy. Life is just simply too short and I already have limited time with the people I love, why would I want to spread myself any thinner? Being a Bitch is not something I take pride in, but I do acknowledge that it’s a characteristic that has gotten me to where I am today and for that reason, I think it’s a very important part of my character.
Bitch. Signing off.